“Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.”
September 12, 2013
Dear Jane,
I am aware that this letter is posted just three days after my last, but sometimes, events occur which must be shared post haste!
There was a time, not too long ago, when I wholeheartedly agreed with your statement above, Jane. In fact, I reveled at the idea that we were so similar! We both agreed that a quiet night at home is infinitely more appealing than the hustle and bustle of a wild night out on the town (although I do enjoy a fun night out every now and again!). I am sorry to say, however, that the events of yesterday evening were anything but comforting, and have brought about a change of heart and mind, for I am no longer at ease in this crazy city. (Please do not alarm yourselves, gentle readers, for it is not SO bad that I will not survive.) Allow me to explain.
It happened, Jane. It was nearing the hour of eleven, and I was venturing into my bedroom to gather the comforter from my bed. I had decided to sleep in the living room where the air conditioning was running at a beautiful sixty-five degrees. (I wish you could have known air conditioning, Jane, for it is a marvelous invention.) I was of the mind that it was much too hot to sleep in my room, you see. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a giant, dark, red cockroach scurrying about my room! Needless, to say, I lost it. I proceeded to make somewhat over-exaggerated, albeit somewhat authentic heaving noises; jumped up and down; turned in circles; shrieked a bit, and finally begged Hillary to come out of her room and assist me.
Being equally afraid of mutant, man-eating, bugs (such as the cockroach), Hillary was no more able to find and dispose of it (for it was revolting and moved at an unnaturally quick pace), than I was. I will say, however, that she was able to keep her poise and was the epitome of propriety (at one point dear readers, she was on the verge of giving me a much deserved slap to the face; luckily it did not come to this). I used to think that I was somewhat level-headed, Jane! How can I ever boast of being such again after the way I behaved?
At this point in the night, neither of us were in the position to trap or kill the beast. Luckily, Hillary had an idea to shut my door and line towels along the bottom of it so that the scoundrel would not not be able to venture out beneath it and attack us while we slumbered.
After a night of fitful sleep on the futon, I awoke to see another bright morning. I brewed a fresh cup of instant coffee, and began writing my letter to you. In other news, I am happy to say that I received a callback for a Murder Mystery Company that I auditioned for this week, and will be preparing for that today! In addition, I had a successful interview with a temp agency, so hopefully, I will begin working next week!
I have not (as of yet) had the courage to return to my bedroom this morning; I must will myself to be brave and face what lies ahead in the great unknown that is my room! Wish me luck, Jane, for I fear my over-active imagination will get the better of me and I will never be able to open the door. As long as I keep telling myself that there is not a group of cockroaches plotting to take over the world in my room, I will be fine.
I realize that having a bug (no matter how repulsive) in one's room is not a circumstance to gripe about when there are so many people facing true adversity in their lives every day. That being said, I sincerely hope that you were able to find some humor in my tale and feel just a little bit better about your own comfortable, cockroach-free home today.
In conclusion, always remember: New York City cockroaches are real. Know the facts. If you see something, say something.
Yours Faithfully,
Amanda
My bedroom door.
.JPG)
Dear Jane,
I am aware that this letter is posted just three days after my last, but sometimes, events occur which must be shared post haste!
There was a time, not too long ago, when I wholeheartedly agreed with your statement above, Jane. In fact, I reveled at the idea that we were so similar! We both agreed that a quiet night at home is infinitely more appealing than the hustle and bustle of a wild night out on the town (although I do enjoy a fun night out every now and again!). I am sorry to say, however, that the events of yesterday evening were anything but comforting, and have brought about a change of heart and mind, for I am no longer at ease in this crazy city. (Please do not alarm yourselves, gentle readers, for it is not SO bad that I will not survive.) Allow me to explain.
It happened, Jane. It was nearing the hour of eleven, and I was venturing into my bedroom to gather the comforter from my bed. I had decided to sleep in the living room where the air conditioning was running at a beautiful sixty-five degrees. (I wish you could have known air conditioning, Jane, for it is a marvelous invention.) I was of the mind that it was much too hot to sleep in my room, you see. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a giant, dark, red cockroach scurrying about my room! Needless, to say, I lost it. I proceeded to make somewhat over-exaggerated, albeit somewhat authentic heaving noises; jumped up and down; turned in circles; shrieked a bit, and finally begged Hillary to come out of her room and assist me.
Being equally afraid of mutant, man-eating, bugs (such as the cockroach), Hillary was no more able to find and dispose of it (for it was revolting and moved at an unnaturally quick pace), than I was. I will say, however, that she was able to keep her poise and was the epitome of propriety (at one point dear readers, she was on the verge of giving me a much deserved slap to the face; luckily it did not come to this). I used to think that I was somewhat level-headed, Jane! How can I ever boast of being such again after the way I behaved?
At this point in the night, neither of us were in the position to trap or kill the beast. Luckily, Hillary had an idea to shut my door and line towels along the bottom of it so that the scoundrel would not not be able to venture out beneath it and attack us while we slumbered.
After a night of fitful sleep on the futon, I awoke to see another bright morning. I brewed a fresh cup of instant coffee, and began writing my letter to you. In other news, I am happy to say that I received a callback for a Murder Mystery Company that I auditioned for this week, and will be preparing for that today! In addition, I had a successful interview with a temp agency, so hopefully, I will begin working next week!
I have not (as of yet) had the courage to return to my bedroom this morning; I must will myself to be brave and face what lies ahead in the great unknown that is my room! Wish me luck, Jane, for I fear my over-active imagination will get the better of me and I will never be able to open the door. As long as I keep telling myself that there is not a group of cockroaches plotting to take over the world in my room, I will be fine.
I realize that having a bug (no matter how repulsive) in one's room is not a circumstance to gripe about when there are so many people facing true adversity in their lives every day. That being said, I sincerely hope that you were able to find some humor in my tale and feel just a little bit better about your own comfortable, cockroach-free home today.
In conclusion, always remember: New York City cockroaches are real. Know the facts. If you see something, say something.
Yours Faithfully,
Amanda
My bedroom door.
That, and the towels directly in front of it,
are the only things from stopping
a terrifying beast from taking over our apartment.
BEWARE!
.JPG)
Ah, you have pets in your apartment. When one leave the confines of one's home, one must be prepared for all sorts of creatures. Fear is a strong motivator - use it at your next audtion. Summon up the feeling you had upon seeing your unexpected roommate.
ReplyDeleteWonderful words, Rick! Just to give you an update, I mustered up the courage to open my door and found the roach (as we call them here in the NYC) was on it's back, presumably dead. After further inspection, I found that the roach was only NEARLY dead. Thanks to little pockets of roach poison around the apartment, our unexpected roommate didn't have much of a chance even though he was clearly a fighter. After my second semi-freak out (that came from seeing it on its back, still moving it's legs), I decided the only course of action was to vacuum it up. And so, I did. The end.
DeleteThe vacuum is one of the best inventions (second only to perhaps the air conditioner)ever created. Brava, for facing your fear!
ReplyDelete