“Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable.”

January 2, 2014

Dear Jane,

How can I ever make amends for my prolonged absence from our (well, my) correspondence? I don't believe I can, therefore, I will just have to prove to you that I am still a loyal companion by writing another letter. I must say that I am quite eager to share some rather exciting news with you that I have not, as of yet, announced publicly. However, I must ask you not to get yourself overly excited for it is not as astonishing as announcing an engagement of marriage (for instance), but it is exceedingly agreeable never-the-less.

Before my own announcement, I must wish you the happiest of belated birthdays, Jane! Can you believe that you turned two hundred and thirty-eight on the 16th of December in the year of Our Lord, two thousand and thirteen? I certainly cannot. The fact that you continue to make such an impact in the lives of women (and men, I am sure) all over the world after two hundred and thirty eight years, is quite a remarkable feat! 

In addition to missing your birthday, I also missed the opportunity to wish you a Happy Christmas and New Year. It is true that the Christmas celebrations of your time were considerably different than ours today. I am of the mind that you would not approve of how truly commercial Christmas has become in my time. You were of a much simpler time, Jane, and I am often envious that I can never truly know what it was like to live in your era. That being said, Christmastide (as you would have called the holiday season) was a time for friends, family, dancing at balls and being merry; it all sounds quite lovely to me. I believe the only way that I can wish you a truly wonderful Holiday is by using your own words (that were so beautifully written for your novel, Emma): "I sincerely hope your Christmas in Hertfordshire may abound in the gaieties which that season generally brings..."  

Now, finally, for my surprise announcement! I hope you do not find me overly foolish for not relaying this information sooner (for I found out more than a fortnight ago), but it is always difficult to place into words one's own good news without sounding as if one is boasting. Here it goes: I have acquired a role in a national tour, Jane (and gentle readers)! (Well, I have been calling it a semi-national tour as we are not travelling around the entire country, only various sections of it.) Anways, I will be portraying the role of Hen (yes, my third animal role to date) in a musical adaptation of a children's book called, Are You My Mother? It is a truly dear show that is thoughtfully written and has a tremendous message of getting along and letting go. I began rehearsing on the 30th of December and I have been enjoying myself ever so much. We begin to travel with the show on the 10th of January and end in the beginning of May; it is quite the whirlwind experience.  There you have it! I hope I have not incovencienced you in any way by my tardy announcement. 

I have just a few things before I conclude my letter. As you know, I am constantly in a state of vexation that my memory is not what it ought to be. On the bright side, I got in the habit of writing things down for you! However, on the less bright side, there were a few things that I wrote down that I have no memory of...so now I am right back where I started, not remembering anything! Allow me to provide you with some of my notes, Jane. Some I remember, some I do not, but I will explain them as best I can:

1. "SUV-attacked" (What on earth was I talking about? Did I attack an SUV? Did it attack me? Was it an epic battle of good versus evil? Unfortunately, I shall never know.)
2. "Wrong way on train and it's express. In the complete opposite direction. Shit." (Please pardon my abhorrent language, Jane. This one is easy enough to remember. Obviously I was quite late to an appointment that day. Those trains are quite the sneaky devils if you are not careful.)
3. "Where once I drove to work, I now take a giant metal tube everywhere. Where did that name originate? In London, it is rightfully called a tube, as that's what it is and what it goes through, but Americans wanted to be more creative I guess. Little did we know that one day there would be a restaurant called subway that makes sandwiches, and while they are generally the same shape, they are quite dissimilar. I suppose they were going for sub, which means under or below, and then way because it's how one makes there way to wherever they're going in this city. But honestly, I prefer the tube in appearance and name and city." (Your guess is as good as mine to explain this one...clearly I just had too many feelings that I had to share that day. I am one hundred percent sure that almost none of the facts that I claimed in the above rant are true. You are to take none of that at face value.)
4. "That moment when you're eating the "Cheese Please" panini from Whole Foods only to realize you're doing so in front of David Barton Gym." (Oh yes, I remember that day well and it makes me chuckle.  I ate my all cheese panini with pride in front of the gym that day.)
5. "Immediate shoe regret" (I remember this! I wore a pair of high heeled boots and I literally regretted it the second I walked out of my door, but instead of returning and changing them for sensible shoes while I was still close by, I continued on. Mistake? Indeed, it was.)

There you have it, Jane, some of my personal notes (most of which make little to no sense). As always, I truly hope you enjoyed reading my long overdue letter. I am going to be an exemplary correspondent from this moment forward! (Well, I will do my best...it is quite hard for a somewhat lazy creature to write AND remember things all in one evening!) Happy New Year to all!

Yours Faithfully,

Amanda 

P.S. I almost forgot! I am so very embarassed that I did not relay an account of one of the most amazing nights of my life to date! I (along with my sisters and our dear mother) saw the one and only, Beyoncé live in concert! I know you have no idea who she is, but I regularly refer to her as a Goddess as she is one of my all time favorite performers and just simply brilliant.

Going on the road and coming to a barnyard near you!

 Look for me, I am the one with the Hen-like headband.

My silly roommates and their silly flexibility. I thought it best for me to hold a can of whipped cream, for as they are good at making their legs stretch to unnatural heights, I am good at enjoying whipped cream.

The Beyoncé experience. I still cannot believe that I had the good fortune of seeing her live, no matter how close to the back of the stadium we were! (We were farther back and up than should be legal.)

One of my many occupations during the Holiday Season

is to dress up in Victorial garb and sing Christmas carols 

at various outdoor shopping centers. In this photo, we are caroling 

in Old Navy. How very Victorian of us.

Ice-skating on Christmas Eve!
Rachael is there to but she is
taking the picture, unfortunately.

Sister Christmas portrait!