"Nobody minds having what is too good for them."

August 21, 2014

Dear Jane,

Although my letters to you may not arrive as often as I would prefer, I do find myself writing to you almost every day inside my head. Do not be alarmed, gentle readers, for strange voices do not plague my mind, but I have found that it is a true comfort to have someone to tell my thoughts to other than just my own (rather empty) mind. For this, I must thank you, Jane, for time and time again you allow me to confide in you!

Now then, where to begin? First and foremost, I would be remiss if I did not relay my feelings of utter astonishment that today is already the twenty-first of August in the year of our Lord, two-thousand and fourteen. How did this come to pass, Jane? I am to leave Springboro, Ohio in approximately eleven days and I simply cannot account for where the time has gone this summer. It has been such a lovely (although eventful) summer here and I confess that I find it rather difficult to imagine life in the bustling city of New York again. 

It has been my experience that whilst I am performing in a show of this nature and living in "cast housing," life  seems rather similar to summer camp. (This is a place where children visit for various periods of time during the summer holidays, so that they may involve themselves in all sorts of foolery and diversions, Jane.) My dear sisters, whom I miss a great deal, often enjoy asking me how I am doing at camp. (According to Regina, I am at camp in Idaho this summer, and as she finds that idea more amusing than the fact that I am working professionally in Ohio, I allow her to tease me. Sisters must be allowed to sport with one other, after all, Jane.) I digress. In truth, other than performing my roles in "Mary Poppins," my responsibilites are quite few and my days are my own to frolic about and enjoy whatever happens to divert me. It is quite an intoxicating lifestyle, Jane, and I must begin preparing myself for settling back into reality or suffer the consequences of my folly on the first of September. 

Since last I wrote, our production has changed quite drastically, Jane. In truth, I have never been part of a theatrical venture that has had so many alterations in such a short while! The transformation first began when our dear friend, Dan (who portrayed the lead role of Bert) departed our production at the beginning of August. We all miss him terribly as he is an extraordinary individual, but we are so very delighted that he is pursuing some tremendous theatrical opportunities. With his exit, however, came the elevation of his understudy, Nicolas, who has now assumed the role of Bert and is performing the part with finesse, style and ease. Moreover, as Nicolas is now in a leading role, LaComedia found it in our best interest to hire a new cast member, Korey, to replace Nicolas in the ensemble as he had quite an extensive "track" in the show. This is not an easy show for one to spring into, Jane, so I quite admire Korey's diligence in learning our show and entering in at such short notice. 

If that all weren't enough, Jane, a few weeks later, we lost something very dear to our show...the star curtain. Woe are we, Jane! This may have been the greatest loss to our musical production, and I shall explain the reason behind this. A star curtain is a particular curtain in which little shining lights shine through a black piece of fabric hung about a stage in order to indicate stars in the sky. Unfortunately, with our rotten luck, our star curtain had a vast hole in which the stars did not shine and night seemed endless at the back of our stage. This was simply not acceptable as it was used chiefly during our "eleven o'clock number" called "Anything Can Happen." Well Jane, we learned that anything cannot happen if the star curtain does not shine. Needless to say, the curtain was removed and our show changed forever. (If you do not understand this portion of my letter, then you will agree with me that wit and satire are much harder to get across on paper, Jane. I only wish that I am able to acquire your level of skill for these with time and practice.)

You may be asking yourself, gentle readers, if anything else can possibly occur within  two months. Unfortunately, I am reluctant to tell you, that the loss of the star curtain (and Dan) were not the only losses we have suffered as of late. Steady yourself for I have one more tale of abandonment and horror, Jane. As of yesterday evening, we are now forced to do without one of our primary, backstage gentlemen and we are truly feeling this drawback. Our dear friend, Alex suffered quite a horrific incident in which a deranged highwayman stabbed him in the hand while he was escorting a friend home from an intimate gathering! You can imagine our surprise when we heard of this shocking tale and were quite relieved to hear that he was recovering nicely. Unluckily for us, he was quite essential to our show as his arms were quite muscular and these muscles were instrumental in the theatrical flights of Mary and Bert. While we will also miss him (as he is also a terrific person), I am pleased to report that the cast is truly pulling together during this time of confusion and perplexity.

It is true, as the above mentioned quotation from Mansfield Park states, that nobody minds having what is too good for them, Jane. I believe that if we are able to finish this run of the show without out many more changes, we will be a happy fellowship and we will not mind keeping the show consistent for the last two weeks. That being said, these are the joys of live theater, I guess!

I must confess that I am exceedingly exhausted from relaying these tales, Jane and I fear that this letter is becoming a burden to read. That being said, I have only a few things left to tell. 

I do not think that I ever mentioned that after each show, the cast is required to stand in the theater lobby for a "meet and greet." This is a particularly memorable occasion for both the audience members and the cast members for it is a time when we "meet" and "greet" one another for the first and only time. That being said, I have received some beautiful comments. I shall relay a few of them for you below and they range from lovely to quite comical. I have supplied a picture of how I appear in the "meet and greet" line so that the commentary from our valued patrons will make more sense to you.

Myself as the evil nanny, Miss Andrew
Photo Credit: Meg Buzzard of New Day Photography

Man: "Typecast?" (Then promptly walks away.)

Woman: "You were ok." (Walks away)

Woman: "You have a voice that could raise the dead."

Child: "Were you the one in Hocus Pocus?"

Woman: "You remind me of Johnny Depp in "The Lone Ranger."

Man: "You made ugly, beautiful."

Woman: "What a powerful voice!"

Old man: "My god, you're homely."

Woman: "You're not as ugly as they said."

Little girl named Sophia: "I knew you weren't really bad!" (This moment truly touched my heart, Jane, as she also gave me a big hug!)

Little Blonde girl: (As she looks up at me) "Eew." 

Same Little Blonde girl: "Why were you so ugly in the beginning?"

Numerous men and women: Variations of obvious facts like, "You were mean!" or "You're creepy." Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your fine assesments of the most obvious aspect of my performance as Miss Andrew...the EVIL nanny.

With those thoughtful comments, I shall retire for the time being as I should begin my preparations for our afternoon performance. The next time I write will most likely be when I have returned to New York and am once again in the throng of auditions, survival jobs and general nonsensical activities that happen when a twenty-five year old single, female with no marriage prospects lives in New York City. (That may have sounded bitter, Jane, but I assure you that is was not...very bitter.)

Yours Faithfully, 

Amanda